Spotting psychological projection

COLIN MULLANEY / EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Sigmund Freud is controversial in pop culture, but if you’ve ever been to talk-based therapy, dealt with “repressed trauma,” “narcissism” or “intergenerational trauma,” then you are the beneficiary of a psychological revolution that began with Freud and burns on to this day. Arguably, Freud’s greatest contribution was his idea of “defense mechanisms,” or patterns that human beings deploy when our ego feels threatened or destabilized. Often triggered by a perceived threat to safety or personal identity, defense mechanisms are methods of separating oneself from hostility of others and from harsh truth. Although defense mechanisms are a survival and protective instinct, they can become problematic when the behavior or mechanism becomes overused and compulsive.

Freud outlines many defense mechanisms through his work. However, the most insidious of all defense mechanisms is “projection,” which is when somebody attributes their own motivations, thoughts, beliefs, feelings, etc. to the world outside of them, or onto a group of “others,” rather than taking ownership of their own, unwanted parts. It is externalizing what is actually internal, pinning it onto someone else rather than addressing it within. 

Projection is the likely culprit behind many of society’s ills, including increased political polarization, racism, classism and cults of personality/celebrity. Anything that “others” fellow human beings and exacerbates “separation consciousness,” is probably a result of projection. Therefore, as Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung states, “the best political, social and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.”

How do you know if you’re experiencing a projection in your own life?

A particularly “charged” relationship with someone else is a good indication. If you feel that a relationship has a specific valence — whether positive or negative — that you are unable to place a finger on, or do not quite understand, then chances are you’re experiencing a projection onto this person. Do they make you feel inexplicable dread? Elation? Aversion? Attraction? Does your heart skip a beat when you see them, or drop into your stomach, with no rationale? You may be projecting something big onto them.

However, the most subtle, mundane indication of a projection is simple irritation. Carl Jung wrote, “everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” 

Look at the people in your life who annoy you the most, and you will understand what it is about yourself that you do not want to see or take ownership of.

Going back to Freud, dream symbolism is another way to know a projection is at play. If you ever have a dream that you are being shot at with a projectile, whether it be a gun, bow and arrow, slingshot, or a thrown object, then it could be your brain’s way of telling you that someone is projecting onto you. If the role is reversed, then you may be the projector. Dreams of being inside a movie theater, with an image projected onto a big screen, can also be the brain’s way of representing that a projection is taking place in your waking life.

In order to combat projection on your part, stop viewing people as “other.” Understand the remarkable, shared humanity that underlies our existence: the similar thoughts, feelings, drives and challenges that we all experience. Embrace “unity consciousness,” instead of “separation consciousness.” Take it upon yourself to empathize with others and to actively listen. Get to know the real and true person as an individual, rather than acting out of your preconceived ideas of who they are, based on personal bias or superficial categorization.

If you find yourself caught up in a nasty and vicious projection as the projector, consider whether the “other” is not simply holding up a mirror, showing you what you would prefer to avoid about yourself. Reclaim ownership for the parts of yourself that you’ve denied and disowned, and try to understand why you’ve relegated these aspects of Self into your unconscious. Strive to understand yourself better. Was there an incident in your past or a parental figure/relationship that made certain aspects of you unacceptable to yourself?

If someone is projecting onto you, the best option is to set boundaries with them. Meanwhile, try to be compassionate for the reasons why they’re disowning themselves and putting it onto you. Be fully present with them. When you bring the fullness of who you are into the relationship or interaction, those who would project onto you cannot hold the same space. In the worst cases, remove yourself from the relationship.

Now that you recognize projection, continuing to engage in it is a choice. You can decide whether other people continue to bother you, which is empowering but also challenging. You’ll no longer view relationships or life the same way, when you realize that your notion of who other people are says a lot more about you than it actually says about them.