JULIE FROMM / ASST. OPINION EDITOR

College has been one of the most formative experiences of my life thus far. I can still remember the excitement I felt ­at the anticipation of this new adventure when I left high school and moved into the Valley dorms my first year. At the same time, I felt nervous about making new friends, joining a new community and establishing myself as an independent young adult. As I reflect on my time in college, one thing that I wish I had learned sooner is that authenticity is the key to happiness. It took me years to fully accept myself for who I am and to pursue my passions wholeheartedly the way I do now. It has also taken me years to even get to know myself entirely, and that is a process that continues every day. 

Being true to myself has not only made me feel much happier with my life, but it has also allowed me to attract people and opportunities that align with my passions. Authenticity can feel like a difficult thing to grasp, like an ongoing project that is never finished, but it is nevertheless a gratifying and liberating process.  

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word “authentic” as being true to one’s own personality, spirit or character. Being an authentic person allows you to live your life with more purpose and direction, because you know yourself deeply and can align your life with your values. However, it is much easier said than done. In my experience, it has often felt easier to try to make myself fit in with my peers, even if doing so went against what I really wanted. 

Berkeley Executive Education published an article regarding our natural tendency to strive to belong. “We are wired (for survival) to want to ‘belong,’ …” Berkley Executive Education stated. “When we fear we have more to lose by being ourselves than we have to gain — we might adapt who we are to safeguard our status, reputation, paycheck, or whatever else might be at stake.” 

Finding a sense of belonging in social groups is incredibly important to our happiness as human beings, but forcing yourself into a certain group rather than the group you are meant to be in can be damaging to your self-image. As a first year, I wanted more than anything to fit in and find a friend group, no matter what that looked like. It took me several years to feel like I finally  found  the friends that I am meant to be with and to discover things about myself that are paramount to who I am. 

When you allow your true self to shine through, the benefits become apparent very quickly. As I have made my  way    through  college, I have begun to pursue my passions, including creative writing and education, more candidly. Because of  this, several aspects of my life have positively changed. 

Opportunities that aligned with my passions began to appear, like writing for the school newspaper and working as a tutor at the Writing Center. I also made friends in my classes that shared my love for writing and learning, and I have been able to build valuable relationships with them because of our shared interests.

I began to feel more confident in myself as a  person  because  I knew that I was  building  a social life  that  reflected who I really am. I also recognized that when I was surrounded by people who shared my interests, I felt like I was able to relax into myself and feel at ease. 

Being authentic can require you to step out of your comfort zone, which can be incredibly difficult, especially during college. 

For many people, college can mean moving to an  entirely different state and meeting hundreds of new people, which is understandably overwhelming, and it may seem simpler to follow the masses instead of following your heart. However, college can also be an opportunity to really discover yourself. High school can be a roller coaster for many, myself included, and the desire to fit in is often higher than ever. 

But there is a big difference between fitting in and belonging. In high school, I found myself ignoring things that I loved because my peers didn’t share the same interests. When I got to college, some of those feelings lingered. But as I evolved, I knew that it was better to listen to myself and my passions instead of what I thought others would want from me. College can be the time to let go of those social norms that you may have adapted to in high school and embrace your individuality wholeheartedly. 

A how-to article written by “MasterClass,” an online platform providing classes with well-known teachers in their fields of expertise, provided some tips on how to be a more genuine person, including being honest, listening to your intuition, practicing self-reflection and working on your self-esteem. It sounds easy to follow these tips, but it can be a huge learning curve. 

As someone who spent a lot of their life ignoring parts of themselves in order to fit in, trying to listen to your inner voice can feel difficult. After practicing introspection and finding ways to listen to myself that work for me, like journaling, I have had the opportunity   to get to know myself better and, therefore, make decisions that align with my interests more sincerely. 

With my final semester of college quickly approaching, I am so grateful that I have been able to use my time at USD to practice self discovery and start living my life more authentically. 

Although it has required a lot of patience, learning how to listen to myself has helped me shape my life in a more positive way. I wish that I could go back in time and tell my high school self that being herself is well worth it, but I am glad that I have had these realizations now  and  can  move forward in my life with the knowledge that I am living an authentic and fulfilling life. 

It’s important to find others who support who you are and encourage you to be your real self. Photo Courtesy of @uofsandiego/Instagram