OWEN FUGIT / CONTRIBUTOR

Societal values have shifted a lot over the  last  30  years  for  several different reasons — one being the internet. Many of the changes brought by the web have been positive, from increased access to information to newly created jobs on social media under the title of “influencer,” fundamentally changing how people experience the world. However, there is a much darker change taking place with effects that are just now starting to  surface. 

It seems that today, the internet is a place built upon change, contrasting the old with the new, and always searching for the next big thing. Women’s rights have come into focus in recent decades — and rightfully so. Even as a man myself, I can see how women have been systematically disadvantaged and devalued over the general course of human history. 

Our focus on women’s rights over the past several decades is more than welcome, albeit much later than we would care to admit. But while we have focused on how to improve life for women, we have left our young men and boys unattended with the full power of the internet constantly bearing down on them. Now, after roughly 30 years of unrestricted internet use, our men — myself included — find it increasingly difficult to grow up and build a life in an increasingly online world. 

In the decades prior to the internet, we had large institutions that would filter out most of the bad influences from the public eye. Typically, the role models of young boys wa

s synonymous with masculinity such as professional athletes, actors or superheroes. The internet cut out this filter  protecting  young  men from toxic idols, giving anybody the chance to define masculinity for a new generation of men. 

Many people may have heard of a controversial figure online known as Andrew Tate. A few years ago, I started seeing his videos on my own social media feed, and I thought it was a joke. Here was a bald, narcissistic misogynistic bully, touting sports cars and supermodels, living in exile in Romania. On top of all this, he was trying to sell me life advice. I was lucky enough to have friends who spotted this issue at the same time I did, and we never  got  pulled  under  his  spell. 

But I can’t say the same about many of my peers. Where I saw a fraud, they saw a role model, and it would be wrong to fault them for that because young men often feel they are navigating life without a reliable role model. AJ Pasciuti, a student on the PhD for Leadership Studies track at USD and a combat veteran, recognized that when the opportunity arose for someone to fill that role, the men occupying the male cultural sphere today chose a specific kind of leadership.

“I think that societally, what we believe is that a leader is somebody that’s barking orders or yelling or in charge of everything.” Pasciuti said. “In my experience, it’s the ones who bark the loudest that have the most to hide.”

The results from three decades of unrestricted internet usage clearly show that young men latched onto the idea of a strong, aggressive, often violent man, recognizing those traits as leadership without recognizing how they were falling victim to what was essentially a sales tactic. The men like Andrew Tate sold young boys isolationism through bigotry and malice. The idea of a ‘lone wolf’ was very popular in these circles, but Pasciuti offered some advice contrary to such a mentality.

“A leader does not trade insults or manufacture division for personal gain,” Pasciuti argues. “Instead, we forge communities, lifting groups of people toward a shared vision of something bigger than themselves.

Leaders do not convince people they are sick, then present themselves as the cure. That’s not leadership. That’s manipulation.”

Current male role models present a stagnant, often regressive view of the world. They espouse a philosophy that things will only get worse for young men if things get better for other groups such as women, minorities or other marginalized people. Young men are being told that society is  leaving them behind, and to a certain extent, this may be true. There has been a documented dropoff in the academic performance of young men  over the past several decades, for instance. 

Instead of encouraging young men to work  hard  and  better themselves in the face of this gap, though, male role models asked young men to turn to cynicism and advocate  for movements that would reduce  the  power  of  the  very groups who had only just  gained  it. Pasciuti argued against cynicism with a belief in trust and hope.

“A leader’s only true obligation is to hold the hope that tomorrow will be better than today and to share it with those they serve,” Pasciuti said. “That hope isn’t born from blind  optimism. It’s earned,  shaped by discipline and rooted in  dignity, accountability, and personal  responsibility. It  demands openness, a teachable spirit, and a mind that remains curious rather than cynical about the future.”

Young men stand at a crossroads today. Down one path is all the male influencers we already know who would further separate men from one another and from the rest of the world, and down the other path is a conscious choice that we make as a society to include men. Many feel that young men are disproportionately painted as villains in contemporary discussions about inclusivity. 

Whether or not this is actually true does not change the fact that movements tend to garner little support from the communities they vilify, and in this case, it’s those same young men who need help the most who are turning away from the very movements that could help them.

If we want to improve the lives of our young men today, the best thing we can do is bring them back into our social movements. By alienating young men, we risk losing them to the hopelessness and despair that male role models promote today. 

We   cannot    preach  inclusion and diversity if we exclude a class of people simply because they were born male and that is the exact grievance such movements hope to resolve. We have to show young men true masculinity, which comes from a belief in empathy, a willingness to learn and a mindset of adaptability and cooperation.

Societal values have shifted a lot over the  last  30  years  for  several different reasons — one being the internet. Many of the changes brought by the web have been positive, from increased access to information to newly created jobs on social media under the title of “influencer,” fundamentally changing how people experience the world. However, there is a much darker change taking place with effects that are just now starting to  surface. 

It seems that today, the internet is a place built upon change, contrasting the old with the new, and always searching for the next big thing. Women’s rights have come into focus in recent decades — and rightfully so. Even as a man myself, I can see how women have been systematically disadvantaged and devalued over the general course of human history. 

Our focus on women’s rights over the past several decades is more than welcome, albeit much later than we would care to admit. But while we have focused on how to improve life for women, we have left our young men and boys unattended with the full power of the internet constantly bearing down on them. Now, after roughly 30 years of unrestricted internet use, our men — myself included — find it increasingly difficult to grow up and build a life in an increasingly online world. 

In the decades prior to the internet, we had large institutions that would filter out most of the bad influences from the public eye. Typically, the role models of young boys was synonymous with masculinity such as professional athletes, actors or superheroes. The internet cut out this filter  protecting  young  men from toxic idols, giving anybody the chance to define masculinity for a new generation of men. 

Before the age of social media, it was much more common for young kids to have superhero role models, such as Spiderman. Photo courtesy of  @ferreiramarcos___/Unsplash

Many people may have heard of a controversial figure online known as Andrew Tate. A few years ago, I started seeing his videos on my own social media feed, and I thought it was a joke. Here was a bald, narcissistic misogynistic bully, touting sports cars and supermodels, living in exile in Romania. On top of all this, he was trying to sell me life advice. I was lucky enough to have friends who spotted this issue at the same time I did, and we never  got  pulled  under  his  spell. 

But I can’t say the same about many of my peers. Where I saw a fraud, they saw a role model, and it would be wrong to fault them for that because young men often feel they are navigating life without a reliable role model. AJ Pasciuti, a student on the PhD for Leadership Studies track at USD and a combat veteran, recognized that when the opportunity arose for someone to fill that role, the men occupying the male cultural sphere today chose a specific kind of leadership.

“I think that societally, what we believe is that a leader is somebody that’s barking orders or yelling or in charge of everything.” Pasciuti said. “In my experience, it’s the ones who bark the loudest that have the most to hide.”

The results from three decades of unrestricted internet usage clearly show that young men latched onto the idea of a strong, aggressive, often violent man, recognizing those traits as leadership without recognizing how they were falling victim to what was essentially a sales tactic. The men like Andrew Tate sold young boys isolationism through bigotry and malice. The idea of a ‘lone wolf’ was very popular in these circles, but Pasciuti offered some advice contrary to such a mentality.

“A leader does not trade insults or manufacture division for personal gain,” Pasciuti argues. “Instead, we forge communities, lifting groups of people toward a shared vision of something bigger than themselves.

Leaders do not convince people they are sick, then present themselves as the cure. That’s not leadership. That’s manipulation.”

Current male role models present a stagnant, often regressive view of the world. They espouse a philosophy that things will only get worse for young men if things get better for other groups such as women, minorities or other marginalized people. Young men are being told that society is  leaving them behind, and to a certain extent, this may be true. There has been a documented dropoff in the academic performance of young men  over the past several decades, for instance. 

Instead of encouraging young men to work  hard  and  better themselves in the face of this gap, though, male role models asked young men to turn to cynicism and advocate  for movements that would reduce  the  power  of  the  very groups who had only just  gained  it. Pasciuti argued against cynicism with a belief in trust and hope.

“A leader’s only true obligation is to hold the hope that tomorrow will be better than today and to share it with those they serve,” Pasciuti said. “That hope isn’t born from blind  optimism. It’s earned,  shaped by discipline and rooted in  dignity, accountability, and personal  responsibility. It  demands openness, a teachable spirit, and a mind that remains curious rather than cynical about the future.”

Young men stand at a crossroads today. Down one path is all the male influencers we already know who would further separate men from one another and from the rest of the world, and down the other path is a conscious choice that we make as a society to include men. Many feel that young men are disproportionately painted as villains in contemporary discussions about inclusivity. 

Whether or not this is actually true does not change the fact that movements tend to garner little support from the communities they vilify, and in this case, it’s those same young men who need help the most who are turning away from the very movements that could help them.

If we want to improve the lives of our young men today, the best thing we can do is bring them back into our social movements. By alienating young men, we risk losing them to the hopelessness and despair that male role models promote today. 

We   cannot    preach  inclusion and diversity if we exclude a class of people simply because they were born male and that is the exact grievance such movements hope to resolve. We have to show young men true masculinity, which comes from a belief in empathy, a willingness to learn and a mindset of adaptability and cooperation.

Even from a young age, men begin to understand and question the complexities of being a man and the world. Photo courtesy of  @Andis Kakeli/Unsplash